By day I was studying nutrition herbs healing the human body to become a health specialist

By evening I was at high-end networking events speaking on stage and sharing my passion

By night I was working till 5am as a waitress in a leotard and fishnet tights in London’s top VIP stripe clubs

My life was a contradiction, there was self-judgement shame guilt about my choices, I hid it all away, I put on my hard crab shell, and hide my soft sensitive magic, and built shields around my heart to cope with my emotions and the pain

I put my whole body hormones mental emotional physical health on the line to make money, late nights, consuming a lot of stimulates, my body rhythms were totally ignored, but I didn’t listen to my body

The funny thing is, my true passion to serve was seeded in this underground dark environment

like the fresh sprouting grass from the dirty dark cracks in the pavement, new life is born, both needed for life, this can’t be ignored 

and this is where the remembrance began of my Goddess power to heal know and love my body 

surrounded by woman talking about their bodies hormones food, something was activated in me, a calling, I didn’t understand it fully, I just followed it, it felt true in my body, spirit was guiding  

We tell ourselves oh she can do that, I could never do that, what would people say? what would others think of me? oh my reputation

I’m going to play it safe, and follow the others, all this went through me, I just didn’t bother listening to it, and this attitude served me well into my nutrition and detox self-love embodiment journey

I binned much of the information and stuff I had learned over 5 years of education, and I started healing in my body actually living and breathing the truth

to find the real food weight-loss clarity energy peace self love self care truths in this body, I had to walk a different path, here I found inner peace

This chapter in my life taught me, it’s about character, not so much reputation, it’s about breaking the rules, no rule book for me

it’s about listening to 

your body 

your feelings 

your truth 

but then this childhood stuff threw me off…

it was either not enough, or I’m to much

it was tell me your dreams, or really that’ll be hard

it was stop talking, or why are you so quiet

it was stop showing off, or came on perform for us

it was you need to eat this, or you don’t need to eat that again  

When you decide to take a new perspective, I chose, everything is always guiding me deeper home to me, to see life with new fresh eyes, with the awareness of what is yours and what is not yours, freedom lands you calmly

It all lead me to the perfect experiences in my life I needed to grow to learn to expand to rise into the woman I am today, it was roses and weeds, it was darkness and light, so much beauty in that wild garden within 

I gained so much from this funny period, I got, I am a shapeshifter, I can work in a stripe club waitressing in dodgy fishnet tights, I can be deep in cellular health research and healing, I can sit in plant medicine ceremonies, I can speak on stage as a channel of spirit and truth, I can write to eternity whilst in timeless bliss, I can hold space for woman to heal deeply with their body and self-love and see miracle upon miracle sprout in this garden called life

and I can love myself so deeply and truly even though others may not accept it, I can, I completely accept who I am and that’s a beautiful space we can all access within 

When we honour it all as just learning growing evolving and becoming the true Self, we can breath

It’s the grounding and clarity of real evolved plant based nutrition and the cleaning of my cellular body of decades of toxics both emotional and physical that has allowed me to come home to a deep place of self-love self-acceptance and self-value to live life my way 

I walked a different path,

I remembered freedom. 

What does true self-acceptance feel like to you? 

Love you!