DEEPER TRUTHS DAY 7: leaping out of bed energised clear and ready for my day…but it wasn’t always like this.

9 years ago I was working nights in a stripe club waitressing till 5/6am, finishing my night off, well let’s say morning off with a Baileys on ice (alcoholic cows pus and sugar!!!🤢Oh how we can change, PHEW😅) then I’d go out partying till who-knows o’clock!

I had a really hard time saying NO to alcohol (it made me feel like I could let go, and just be me)

I loved eating out and eating LOTS, washed down with drink 1,2,3,4,5…not just at the weekend,

I actually liked my job because I made huge tips and lived an amazing lifestyle in London (well what I thought it was amazing 10 years ago!)

I spent a fortune on luxury organic skincare and treatments (thinking it was all an outside job!)

Really,
I was unhappy inside my body and love life

the job, the spending, the eating out obsession, the drink- it was all my escape from facing the deeper stuff

I made my life look shiny on the outside, yet I was exhausted, bloated, afraid, crying, screaming, pretending to be someone else, an emotional wreck on the inside

But it was easier not to have to face this,
and continued the lifestyle that kept me covered up

Most days I felt anxious, stressed, fatigued, my hormones were a mess,
so I tricked by body into thinking I was listening to it by strenuous running most days, drinking thick fibrous green smoothies (not anymore!!), eating spoonfuls of coconut oil and swallowing handfuls of supplements – this made me feel better, whilst my body was forced into a suppressed state creating EVEN more toxicity

Sometimes when we’re in pain and seek answers, we end up feeling like who we were or what we did was “wrong”, so we try to hide the past and secretly beat ourselves up.

No more piling up the identities one on top of the other so I could fit in, or feel accepted and feel good about myself,

I had to own it all, and stop hiding and running from myself
I had to get honest,

we can only burn away our karma when we fully own it all (thoughts, actions, feelings)
out of this integrity, this courage
my dharma begin to show itself

I changed my priorities, after a week partying in Ibiza, I decided it was time to face myself, face what was going on inside me, my karma 🔥

I started to surround myself with people who we’re also wanting to better themselves and feel a connection again,
and my Dharma begin to ignite 🌈

I started to see a different world
a new perspective
possibility
freedom
hope🙏

I felt a lot of regret about my party days, but I no longer do, I learn’t so much, and have many crazy stories to tell, it’s all part of this amazing journey called life,

Fast forward to now, and I’ve just been asked to be featured in British vogue magazine with my business The Body Awakening Ibiza
speaking at a huge world health summit in Bali (use to be one of my biggest fears ever, now yes I feel the fear, but there’s excitement, as it feels so aligned with my soul)
I don’t drink alcohol or caffeine anymore
I’m living on 80% Fruit 🍇🍇🍇
I travel the world
I feel deeply connected to who I am and why I’m here
Fully living my Dharma 💃🏻😘

“the past doesn’t determine your future unless you carry it with you into the present. Forgiving yourself and others, you free the universe to begin again at any moment”
~ Marianna Williamson

If I had to give my former self a piece of advice, I’d say to her,

“everything you’re seeking is already inside you, be still, breath and know that you are the entire universe, unlimited potential, trust yourself, take risks and love yourself the most”

We’re all kings and queens, gods and goddess’s 👸🏻🤴🏻let’s shine bright,
live breath radiant our divine nature ❤️

#bestillandknowyouaretheuniverse

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